The Pickle
by Friends Are Like Potatoes
Summary: It's Christmas! The flock is staying at Dr.M's place for Christmas, too! But Max and Fang find out about the pickle ornament! Who will get the present? slight OOC  Max swears a lot in this fic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to update or put any new stories up until my science fair project was done. But hey, it's my FIRST Christmas here on FF. I wanted to make a Christmas fic. So, here it is. It's going to be multi-chapter. The next chapter WILL be up by today or tomorrow (Probably tomorrow, but hey, you never know.) It WILL be finished by Christmas night, though. :) ENJOY**

Christmas time. Oh the joy. (Note sarcasm.) Okay, I can hear my Dr. M now, "Max! It's Christmas time! Be happy!" and Gazzy's voice, "C'mon Max! Have some holiday spirit!"

Yeah, I know, have some freaking holiday spirit. Well, it's sort of hard to have 'holiday spirit' when you've never actually even _celebrated _the holidays before. The flock and I are celebrating our first actual Christmas with Dr. Martinez, or in other words, Mom. (I still have trouble saying that.)

The kids have been thrilled. They've heard so many legends of the jolly old elf, Santa Claus. I don't see what the deal is though. He's just some creepy stalker that watches you in your sleep and is allowed into your house at the break of dawn. I mean really, he even says "Ho, Ho, Ho!" What's so awesome about that? I mean, he's saying _ho, ho, ho. _That's like, he's calling you a Lissa, and you know being a Lissa is _not very_ honorable. It's one of the worst things ever!

"Hey," I jumped at the sound.

"God! Can you stop doing that?" I yelled at Fang. He's so silent sometimes. He scares me half to death!

"What? Breathing?" Fang replied. He _always _liked to use that on me. It was so annoying. "Anyways, why are you sulking in a corner?"

I looked at where I was. I was _standing_ in the emo-corner. I was definitely _not sulking. _That was Fang's job, not mine.

"Why do you need to know? Oh, I know. It's your turn isn't it? I'm _so _sorry." I stepped away and gestured with my hands. "It's all yours."

Fang just scowled at me. I just shrugged and smiled.

I turned around me. Christmas decorations were everywhere. Fake poinsettias were set above the cupboards. Cinnamon-scented pinecones were in baskets that littered the house. Candy canes hung on strings in front of the windows. Colorful Christmas lights were strung around the stair banister. The Christmas tree was already up, too. The angel stood at the very top, shining brightly. Ornaments and sparks of light were scattered on the tree. Toy train tracks encircled the tree. Everything seemed normal… except for one ornament.

The ornament was quite unusual. It was shaped like a pickle. A _pickle-shaped _ornament, really? Really?

"What the hell?" I voiced my thoughts. Fang came up behind me.

"What is it?"

"It's a _pickle_." I said, emphasizing the word 'pickle'.

"Where?" he asked me. I pointed towards the pickle hidden in the tree.

"What the hell?" he said. (He freaking copied me!)

"Language!" We heard _Mom _yell. Ah, always caring about our language. Well, she can't hear what's in my mind! Hell! Shit! Crap! Ass! Bastard! Bitch! F*CK!

_I CAN HEAR YOU MAX!_

Dammit.

_MAX!_

Stupid Angel.

_MAX!_

Okay, fine. Angel, get out of my head or I'm going to start swearing even more!

…

Ah, peace and quiet at last.

Okay, well anyways, away from stupid Angel and her mind reading, back to my stupid story about pickles.

"Fang, why do you think there's a pickle shaped ornament on the tree?"

"I have no clue." Fang answered. Well, thank you Mr. Know-It-All, for your oh-so-wonderful information.

Hey Angel, I called in my mind.

_Hmph, I thought you wanted me to stay out of your mind._

Oh shut up. I have a question.

_Nope._

It's important!

_I don't care._

You're a bitch, Angel.

_Yay! You kept your promise!_

What?

_You said, and I quote, "Okay, Angel. Get out of my head or I'm going to start swearing even more!"_

Really, Angel? Really?

_Yup._

Okay, anyways. I have a question. Will you answer it now?

_Yeah. I answered it. The Angel-Answering-Questions Booth is now closed._

ANGEL!

I heard silence after that. I looked at Fang. He was staring at me like I was a freak. (Which I was by the way. I was a mutant bird freak, to be exact.)

"Having an argument with Angel again?" He asked me. Oh, how he knows me. I just nodded my head in response. He would know, because after all, that's the only thing _he _ever does.

"Alright, let's go ask Dr. M" Fang said, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hallway.

"Oh! Hey guys! What's up?" _Mom _asked, wiping her hands on a towel. I smelt chocolate chip cookies somewhere… yum.

"Why is there a pickle on the Christmas tree?" Fang asked straight out. Fang was never the one to beat around the bush. He just came out and said it.

"Oh! The pickle! You saw that?" Dr. Martinez exclaimed. (I decided that I'm just going to call her Dr. Martinez or Dr. M, because Mom isn't working out for me. I'm even having trouble saying it in my head!)

"Yeah, we saw it. Why is it there? It's a _pickle_ for calling out loud!" I said. She just smiled sheepishly.

"Well, you see, there's this really old tradition…" Dr. Martinez started out.

So, turns out that there's this German tradition about hiding a stupid pickle ornament in a tree. The first child on Christmas morning to find it gets an extra gift. Yeah, stupid.

"What the hell?" was the first thing I had said after she explained the tradition. Fang's "What the hell?" also followed after me. Then, Dr. M's famous "Language!".

"So, let me get this straight. The parent hides a pickle in a tree, and on Christmas morning, the kid finds it and wins an extra present?" I asked.

"Yup! Exactly like that."

"Okay? So, what's the extra gift?" I asked excitedly.

"It's a surprise that _only _the winner gets to know." She explained to me. I nodded.

"Well… since I already know where it is, it's a guarantee that I will be the one who finds it, so can you just tell me what it is now?" I asked hopefully.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Pretty please?"

"Nada."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Sorry, but no."

"Fine."

Dr. M just smirked at me. I mean, really, what mother smirks at her daughter? I thought smirking was Fang's thing, not Dr. Martinez's.

"So… you really want to know what that extra present is, don't you?" Fang asked me. I looked at him and nodded. He just laughed at me.

"Jerk."

"Well… a jerk is a tug. A tug is a boat. A boat floats on water. Water is nature. Nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment Maxie. It really means a lot to me." Fang said.

I growled at him. He just laughed at me, _again. _Jerk.


	2. InformationNot a chapter

**Okay, guys, I know, I suck. I am NOT going to continue this. I read over it and decided that it could stand as a one shot. Sorry guys. This whole chapter will be dedicated to reviewers and the history of the pickle thing. Sorry guys.**

**REVIEWS**

**: **_This is really funny. I've never actually read the Maximum Ride books, though I plan on it._

Haha, thanks. I think I do best at humor. I'm not that good with the mushy gushy romance stuff. (Although I enjoy it.) I think you should really read the books. They are AMAZING! Haha. I'm only on The Final Warning. Eh, that one isn't that good, but the previous ones are some of the best. I hope you can read them soon. I love your pen name. It would be so awesome to be the daughter or both Artemis and Hades. Although, now that I think about it, it would be kind of weird… I mean, Artemis and Hades? *shivers* but having both of their power/skills/whatever would be soooo awesome. Haha, thanks for reading and reviewing. Glad you liked it.

**flying in love: **_pickle... hehe dirty thought... ok anyways.. i like the story :)! it was good_

o.O okay you just put dirty thoughts into my mind. Haha. When I was trying to describe the pickle in the tree, I couldn't be very descriptive… *shiver* Would you really want me to describe a pickle from afar? Uh-huh, I didn't think so. Lolz. Thanks for reading the story AND reviewing. It means a lot to me.

**3ChristmasCupid3: **_this is so cool! i'm always the one to hide the pickle ornament in my family and i've never met anyone else that does it!_

Haha, glad you like it. I know several people who do this tradition. I'm not one of them, but I'm pretty familiar with it. My friends (the ones who do it) are always talking about 'the pickle'. Haha, it's pretty funny, really. I do have a pickle ornament though… I think I'm going to convince my parents to do the pickle tradition. I really think it would be fun. Also, I'm guessing that your name was supposed to be a heart. Like how you use the greater than (less than?) sign and the 3. Yeah, I hate how FF doesn't let you put certain symbols in here. Oh well, I guess. Thanks for reviewing and reading.

**jahfreenalam****:**_LOL! Great first chapter! Update soon!_

Thanks! Sorry, I'm not going to put more chapters. (So sad,) I really do appreciate you reviewing though. I think you're one of the ones who review almost every single story of mine. Am I right? Haha, I'm grateful of that though. Thanks. :) It really means a lot to me. Every single review does. Again, thanks for reading and reviewing!

**I also want to thank any future reviewers! It really means a lot to me when you review. Reviews are like my gas to my car (I don't have one though) my music to my iPod, my food to my hunger, my crunch to my pickle! Thanks so much!**

_This is for the inspiration and history of the story and tradition._

**HISTORY: **The pickle in the tree originates from Germany, although, many German people no longer do it. From what I know of, a family hides a pickle (ornament) deep in the Christmas tree. The next morning, the first child who finds the pickle gets a small gift, whether it being candy or an actual pickle. (A/N: I just had to say that!)

_According to some accounts, the tradition of trying to find the little ornament shaped like a pickle which was hidden deep among the green boughs on Christmas Eve, began many years ago in Laschau, Germany. As the story goes, the lucky one who found the ornament on Christmas morning would receive an extra gift from St. Nicholas. If the family could not afford an extra gift, the lucky finder of the pickle would be rewarded by being the first to open a present. Production of the blown glass _Christmas Pickle _ornaments began in the 1890's._

_This "Old World German" tradition of _"The Christmas Pickle" _may be in somewhat of a "pickle" itself. Another account of the origin of the tradition is quite "dilly". Thus far it seems to have at least some credibility among a "peck" of other situations. In this depiction, we are led to the German _emigrant_, John Lower, by his Great-Great-Granddaughter, Cindy. Our German tradition hence, is one more of a legend than anything. Just as the legendary "Italian Pizza" is spoken of with a very heavy Chicagoan's drawl. "The Christmas Pickle" seems to have its beginning or "pickled" right here in the south of the good old U.S. of A._

_According to Cindy, John Lower was born in Bavaria in 1842. He left Germany with his family and emigrated to the United States. While fighting in the American Civil War, John Lower was captured and sent to prison in Andersonville, Georgia. He soon fell to poor health given the poor conditions of the prison. Starving, he begged of a guard of just one pickle before resigning to his death. The guard, taking pity on him, found and gave John Lower a pickle. Lower family lore yields John's testimony that the pickle, by the grace of God, gave him the mental and physical strength to live on. After being reunited with his family, he began the tradition of hiding a pickle on the Christmas tree. Hence, the first person who found the pickle on Christmas morning would be blessed with a year of good fortune… just as John Lower had experienced!_

_The first recorded references to the Christmas tree that is now often used to hide this infamous _Christmas pickle _dates back to the sixteenth century. It was in Strasbourg, Germany (now part of France) that family, both rich and poor, decorated fir trees with colored paper, fruit, and sweets. The retail Christmas tree lot also dates back almost as far. In those times, older woman would sell trees that were harvested from nearby forests. _

_The Christmas tradition was spread through Europe and brought to the United States by German settlers and by Hessian mercenaries paid to fight in the Revolutionary War. In 1804, U.S. soldiers stationed at Fort Dearborn (now Chicago) hauled trees from surrounding woods to their barracks at Christmas._

_After the war, popularity of the Christmas tree grew and thus it proliferated through the United States. Charles Minnegrode introduced the custom of decorating trees in Williamsburg, Virginia in 1842. In 1851, Mark Carr hauled two ox sleds loaded with trees from Catskills to the streets of New York. There he opened the first known retail Christmas tree lot in the United States._

_Franklin Pierce, our 14__th__ president, brought the Christmas tree tradition to the White House. In 1923, President Calvin Coolidge started the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony now held every year on the White House lawn. Since 1966, members of the National Christmas Tree Lighting Association have presented beautiful , fresh Christmas tree to the president and the first family. This tree is displayed each year in the Blue Room of the White House… We ponder, whether somewhere amidst its many green boughs, if it hides the _"Presidential Christmas Pickle"_?_

**OH MY GOD! I can't believe I typed that! I must love you guys a lot! That whole thing came from this link http : / / pomnitz . net #lc /traditions/xmas_**

**It wouldn't let me copy it! GRRRR! Anyways, onto the next part of this little ending thing.**

**Inspiration: **Well, I was at school one day, and my teacher was like "What's your Christmas tradition?" She told us that the weirdest tradition that she's ever heard of, was this one that I am telling you of right now. And I was thinking, what would happen if the Maximum Ride characters got into this little tradition? Then, I started thinking, and thinking. My friends also spoke up and said that they too, did it. My teacher was shocked (really? Really? Wow.) Anyways, that was my inspiration. Ha, pretty stupid huh? Lolz

**ANOTHER THING-**

I forgot

_Okay, that's it. Thanks for reading :)_

_Merry (Late) Christmas and a Happy (Early) New Year!_

_-Friends Are Like Potatoes (Angela)_


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